james Buick
How to build trusting relationships and why people want to trust each other
What is trust and why is it vital for each of us
Mutual trust between people is an important aspect and a prerequisite for mental health. The ability to trust is formed from an early age, significantly influencing our perception of ourselves, others and the world as a whole. The ability to correctly build strong interpersonal relationships, cope with stress, and adapt to difficult situations depends on the level of trust.
Self-confidence
Determines our ability to rely on our own judgment, make decisions, and act in accordance with our personal values in any situation. Establishing a trusting relationship with oneself creates the basis for healthy self-esteem, confidence, emotional stability, and resilience. In turn, a lack of self-trust leads to insecurity, anxiety, and a constant search for someone else's approval.
Trust in other people
Plays a key role in any social contacts. Trust is formed from childhood based on our experience, constant observations, and upbringing. A high level of trust in others allows you to build trusting relationships with a partner, establish strong emotional ties with relatives, friends, and colleagues. This reduces the level of anxiety, facilitating effective communication. In turn, the inability to trust people leads to social isolation, conflicts, and emotional stress.
Trust in the world
It is equally important to build trusting relationships with the world around us. It determines the general perception of reality and our place in it. It is formed through childhood experience, upbringing, social norms, and personal experiences. Building trust in the world around us reduces stress levels, promotes a sense of security, and also resilience to life's difficulties. Its absence invariably leads to anxiety, pessimism, and a negative outlook on life.
How trust is formed and demonstrated
Building trust plays a key role in almost all areas of life. It is equally important to learn to trust in parent-child, romantic, family, and friendly relationships.
Issues of trust between parents and children
Building trusting relationships and close emotional bonds begins in the first months of life. Parent-child relationships based on trusting communication, mutual respect, and sincerity form a healthy self-esteem, self-confidence, and emotional stability in the child.
How does a child who lacks trust behave?
- He is secretive and rarely shares his thoughts and experiences.
- Avoids communication, showing virtually no initiative in conversations with adults.
- Does not share happy or disturbing events.
- Shows aggression. Withdraws into himself when trying to discuss important topics.
- Often deceives, even without apparent need.
- Doesn't talk about his friends or hides them from his parents.
Typical mistakes parents make that can destroy trust
One of the reasons why parents lose trust from their children is incorrect parenting strategies. Let's list typical parental mistakes that negatively affect trusting relationships in the family.
Lack of attention
Parents are not interested in the child’s experiences and do not notice his emotional state.
Overprotection, overprotection
Excessive control, prohibitions and distrust of the child’s abilities negatively affect his independence, preventing him from building trusting, sincere relationships.
Manipulations
As an example, we can cite parental phrases: “If you don’t stop crying, I’ll hand you over to the police,” “If you don’t study well, you’ll become a janitor,” “If you love me, you’ll do as I say.”
Excessive Punishments
They create a feeling of insecurity and injustice in the child. Trust is displaced by fear of parents, which negatively affects the development of the personality.
Ridiculing and devaluing children's feelings, goals, dreams
Neglecting a child's emotions and dreams undermines his self-confidence, while simultaneously forming a natural distrust of parents.
How to Maintain Trust at Different Stages of Growing Up
It is important to remember that in order to build trust, it is important for parents to always remain consistent in their words and actions. To establish a trusting relationship with a son or daughter, you will have to find a balance between caring and respecting personal boundaries. Openness, honesty and emotional support create conditions for psychologically comfortable communication. In addition, it is important to take into account age-related characteristics, adjusting the communication style and giving children space to make independent decisions.
How to Maintain a Trusting Relationship with a Teenager
Physiological and personality changes make teenagers vulnerable to most life situations, even those that may seem unimportant or insignificant to parents.
During this period, it is important to show maximum patience, avoiding pressure and obsessive control. Open dialogue, recognition of the teenager's right to their own opinion, respect for their interests and personal boundaries help to create and maintain a close emotional connection. It is important for parents to demonstrate their readiness to discuss any topic, without devaluing the teenager's experiences and without using threats, manipulation or punishment as the main method of education.
In some cases, restoring emotional closeness requires the help of a psychologist who corrects the emotional, cognitive, and behavioral development of children and adolescents.
If you wish, you can become a child psychologist yourself. In particular, such an opportunity is offered by the Talentsy educational program “Children's Psychologist-Consultant”, designed for a year and a half of study. This is an excellent opportunity to master a promising profession, as well as learn to better understand your own children, building the upbringing process on openness and trust.
Trust in relationships
In serious relationships, the level of trust determines stability and the depth of emotional connection between partners. The ability to trust each other in a couple is formed on the basis of openness, consistency of behavior, and the desire to take into account the needs of both partners.
High levels of trust in healthy relationships reduce anxiety, facilitate constructive conflict resolution, and help create true emotional intimacy. In turn, the destruction of trust leads to misunderstandings, alienation, and serious conflicts – even in the longest relationships that are built on mutual feelings.
Avoidance
If one partner is unwilling to discuss problems, constantly ignores the other's feelings, or demonstrates emotional detachment, the relationship will sooner or later become unstable. Under the influence of such behavior, the avoidant and emotionally closed partner begins to be perceived as unreliable. Avoidance can also manifest itself in evading responsibility for one's actions, deliberately concealing information, or demonstrative indifference to the emotional needs of the partner.
Codependency
In a codependent union, all interests and desires are subordinated to the partner, which greatly affects personal boundaries. The balance is violated, in which trust is replaced by control, and sincere relationships are replaced by the fear of losing a partner. Excessive care, imposition of one's own decisions, emotional manipulation create an atmosphere of strong psychological tension. Relationships are built not on open dialogue and mutual understanding, but on pressure and obligations.
Trust and self-esteem
The reason for mistrust in a couple can be inadequate self-esteem of one or both partners. A person with low self-esteem experiences a constant need to confirm their own importance. Under its influence, they can demand constant assurances of love from their partner, as well as proof of devotion. This forces them to build relationships on jealousy, unreasonable expectations and constant control.
Inflated self-esteem can lead to neglect of the partner's feelings, ignoring their emotional needs, and expecting exact compliance with one's own ideals. This prevents the creation of a harmonious union, since it is very difficult to maintain trust in such an atmosphere.
Relationships with friends and colleagues
It is equally important to create trusting relationships with friends, employees, and business partners.
In friendships, trust is built on mutual support and emotional closeness. At the same time, it is important to respect the personal boundaries of friends, not perceiving them as free psychologists or people who are obliged to come to the rescue. One of the conditions of trust between friends is stability. A person who supports in one case, and betrays or shows indifference in another, is perceived as unreliable. Another factor that destroys trust is the discrepancy between words and actions. Promises that are not kept, ignoring important requests without reason, double standards do not contribute to true trusting relationships, destroying friendship.
Predictability is especially important in the work environment. In such a situation, the creation of trusting relationships is based not only on personal, but also on professional qualities of a person. Unlike friendship, where emotional connection comes to the fore, in a team, reliability, responsibility, and the ability to work in a team play a key role. If a colleague regularly does not fulfill his duties, shifts responsibility to others, or violates agreements, this automatically destroys trust in him – even if such a person is friendly in personal communication.
What destroys trust
Betrayal
Destroys trusting relationships instantly, painfully, and often irreversibly. Betrayal is based on a gap between expectations and actual actions, which leads to a loss of security and confidence in the person we trusted. Broken expectations are fraught with emotional isolation, as well as fear of close relationships in the future.
Broken promises
Systematically unfulfilled promises undermine authority and cause disappointment. Even a seemingly insignificant discrepancy between words and actions prevents the building of a trusting alliance.
Lack of openness and sincerity
Secrecy in a relationship is a breeding ground for doubt and suspicion, especially if one or both partners have self-esteem issues. Reluctance to share important information reduces mutual understanding, creating mistrust.
Manipulations
It is unacceptable to use other people's weaknesses to achieve personal goals. In the process of communicating with a manipulator, a feeling of vulnerability and injustice arises, which does not contribute to healthy relationships.
How to build trusting relationships
Trusting relationships can be built by creating consistent behavior in which people demonstrate trustworthiness, sincerity, and mutual respect for personal boundaries. Here are some simple tips to help build trust.
- Try to keep your promises even in small things.
- Have the courage to express your feelings and intentions openly – even if it makes you uncomfortable when communicating with your partner, friend or child.
- Respect your own and others' personal boundaries.
- Be consistent in your words and actions.
- Don't try to manipulate other people for your own personal gain.
- Learn to admit your mistakes and take responsibility for them.
Let's sum it up
The main condition for a trusting relationship is sincerity and honesty. First of all, it is the ability to openly talk about your feelings, expectations and experiences without fear of condemnation. Like in 18FU.com Erotic Buttocks Display healthy relationships, in which there is trust, exclude manipulation or hidden motives.
Emotional intelligence and empathy play a key role in the topic of trust. Remember that a person begins to trust only when he feels heard and understood. It is important to develop the skill of active listening. This is not only paying attention to words, but also the ability to grasp the emotional subtext.
Mutual support is no less important. Any union is tested for strength in crisis situations. The willingness to come to the rescue, listen or just be there indicates reliability and the desire to build a trusting relationship based on deep emotional closeness.
